There are different types of love. The psychiatry books etc will name them. Yesterday I met a Yogi who as he lay at the end of his life exclaimed with a great smile that loving one another without judgement is the greatest goal of humans. All else but unconditional love is a division.
The choices we make to love as fellow life travelers is not easy. He suggests we move toward those who bring us pain so it can be released. Maybe spiritually, and I hope not literally! There are some who I don't think I can literally embrace but I can try to love them in a compassionate perspective.
My grandfather may have had it right I think. He said that G-d got it wrong. G-d should have given us all the wisdom we need to live a full life at the beginning of our life, and then lose it as we get older so we die, as an innocent child. Maybe then we would have been wise enough to love first.